madness

4th day.
I didn't text him, didn't call him.
i'm getting stronger i think?
Had a chat with Ban yesterday. I admit i'm over-reacting but her sudden joining into the group, i couldn't and never want to adapt to it.

Everyone now have to adapt to her time.
Whereas i'm working, no one even realise that ...
Nevermind, perhaps slowly i'll be the one that moving away from supper group rather than anyone else.
Things change, people change, feelings changes.
I'm still standing there remain unchanged.
I dislike changes, especially those sudden changes. I wont be able to adapt and never wants to adapt to it. I don't see a point in that anyway...

JS(: cares for her.
Ban cares for her.
Will anyone realised that i'll be affected?
If only is JS(: cares for her, i can understand..
but now ?
Thing changes, moreover i tried to be nice to her cause she is ban's girlf.
But i realised that i can't, cause she made me a lonely person once again.
AGAIN!
nevermind.
I got very emotional yesterday and i went out with Haowei at night for a spin.

Yeaa i got to drive a little to East Coast (:
Haowei is uber sweet, is ever sweet..
but like what someone told me.
The one that did alot for you will never be love back.
The one that did NOT do anything, your heart will be captured.
Haowei and Hanxiang have been doing so much for me these years why am i not even moved by them? Cause i'm stupid enough to fall for someone who DIDNT do anything for me.

Yes, it's JS(:
I know it's time.
to let go of everything, even everyone in my life.
I wanna pretend no more
pretending to be happy is tiring...
I just want to be myself, is it so hard ?
Why no one understand and think that whether am i tired of that?
No one... The one that i need the concern most now never understand..
you've changed.
what am i now?

心里的雨倾盆的下 那伤心原来没有时差