broken, shattered, pieces

Yes, things never goes my way.
It never.
I cried, and screamed and yelled.
He never be mine.
He will never be.

He's still in love with her.
someone that will never be with him anymore.
someone that belongs to someone else.
Why? Why am i still standing there?
I suppose to let go, i supposed to.
I couldn't find any reason not to but I rather stand there and wait for him to hold me. one day.

He messaged me " Hey tml working? Till what time? I go fetch you want? "
I was overwhelmed, of course.
at the same time, i'm shocked a million.
Met up with Ban at night to have prata,
anyway on the way there, we had a minor accident.
lucky both of us are fine..
& ate half way, Cynthia came with a message.. lols asking ban to save her ._. LOL!
She was in the mid of meeting JS(:
Yes then after he sent me home by Bicycle~ WEES


On Saturday, suppy group loves came over to unitedsquare to look for me.
JS(: offered to vacuum the floor for me willingly. Like so surprised alright?
Then half way through, JS(: gave up and asked nuxed to vacuum the rest instead.
He just move towards me while i'm doing some paperwork that has some error on it.
I went flustered ~.~ then he said " I'm beside only, don't flustered " (in chinese of course.)
I splurted like "then you move away from me lor.."
I regretted saying things like this.
Whatever lar, then i got a little emotional afterthat.

went Raffles place for supper/dinner with him, keithlyn, nuxed, ban&cynthia.
I totally no appetite though i've starved for the day.
keithlyn gave me lots of opportunities to speak to JS(: alone but we both didn't really speak.
Something just seems to be lacking..
After food, Ban sent Cynthia back while the rest of us trained to back to Cineleisure for some ROCK GUITAR game ._.

On the train...
I was just sitting right beside him, as i'm so afraid so i move a little away and sitting towards the right instead.
He said something like "Are you sitting right side or left side? "
then im like blushing.. lols.
so i move a little towards him.
hahaa. i'm happy, even for awhile.

Ban came over to meet up with us at Cineleisure and play.
JS(: enjoyed himself, sighs am i silly to love him? lols.
Ban sent everyone home and i broke down infront of him
yes, i only cries when i'm with Ban alone.
Sighs.. i pretend to be happy when he's around..
so tired till i broke down at the end of the day..

I messaged him, asking if he has any feelings for me.
He replied...
He wants to be fair to me, is not that he doesn't want to be with me.
I'm confused..
I wants him to be fair, he did.
i wants to be with him, but the time isn't right..
Will i be able to wait?
I miss you, i really do..
I only get to see him once a week, if the saturday we didnt meet up.
It turns out to be once in two weeks. ):

That's all...