broken shattered pieces

The happiest 20 hours that in my life (:
which is the every hours that i'm able to see him continously for 3 days.

People say i'm silly.
too silly for fall in love.
all i could do is to cry when he walked away...
i always cry, no doubt.

I cried, when i know he's upset.
I cried, when i know everything is impossible.
I cried, when i sees him walk away.
I cried, when i realised everything is never mine.
I cried, cause i have to let go.
I cried, as i'm tired... too tired to be strong.
I cried, cause when i need someone the most but now i don't.

to like someone, it's really sweet.
but why am i feeling so painful?
those 20hours, i'm feeling real sweet.
But is that real? Or is being planned out by someone else?
if its being planned out, i rather dont want any.
I feel i'm being pity out of sympathy.
what am i?
I dont want just to be someone cause he has no one to.
I want to see him happy just because i'm with him, but it's impossible.
How tired i am, i will dragged myself out just to see him.
Why?!

I've already did my best, my best to like him and ignore everyone's talking.
my mind only him, but everything isn't meant to be.
he only have her in mind, he will only care about how she feels and wants her to be happy.
for her being happy, he do not mind to hurt me.
I want my own happiness too.
I texted JS(:
told him im real happy these 3 days and told him i will be leading my life happily and most importantly i wants him to be happy. and hopes he will find his. cause nothing is much more important than he being happy..

yes, again.
i broke down after i've sent the message out.
i cried, cause its hurtful.
i cried, cause i dont wish to go away but i have to.
i'm sorry, i'm not strong enough to hold back my tears.
do take care (:
byes