losing

Who is not afraid to lose everything overnight?
I did.

7 years of friendship, 7 years of confidant, 7 years of concern.
why? i'm not being good, at least if i move away things will get better.
things gradually gets better when i make the first move to drift away.
isn't that good?
she's happy than JS(: will be happy.

it doesn't matter how i do it.
how i gonna cry, how i gonna suffer anymore.
is a promise that i've to honour.
my good friend asked me " will you give up on him ? "
perhaps i will, giving him up and everyone in the group.
it takes time, perhaps a longer one to let go now.
i've already lost someone once important to me.
though he belongs to someone else now, but he never leaves my heart at all.
to love someone doesnt mean that he or she has to be beside you all the time.

now, i just wanna cherish everything.
i dont wanna wait till when i loses it, i starts to regret like how i used to a year ago.
can i forget the one that i once loved and loved me once?
i never forget and he will never be forgotten.
is just me, not able to cherish him.
i'm tired, tired of running and chasing after someone who never and never be mine.
as long as he's happy.
i no longer have the ability to run, i just wants to be alone.
i also need a shoulder to cry on, someone that loves me more than i do.

one year ago, if i know i would have put away my pride and beg him back to my side.
things will be very different.
i will be the most happiest woman in the world with the most sweetest boyf which every girls envy of.
but i lose it.
Now even my best fri, i loses him.
to ? someone that belongs to him.
im not jealous, just not used to it.
moreover 7 years of friendship, it takes time.
i will try, try every means to let go of this 7 years of bestfri to someone whom i dont even know whether will she be the one for him.
stupid me. (:

JS(: and me will never be together.
cause in my heart, i dont even know what i really wants anymore.
shutup candy, im tired.
really
i'm sorry