introvert

How i wish, i could take things easy.
How i wish, i never know so much.
How i wish, i can never be there.
How i wish, i am able to leave him without any hiccups.

Everything that i wishes for, it never occurs or happens to me.
Im even more upset than normal.
Actually he doesn't need me. If one day something happen to the both of us at the same point of time, all he worries is to her.
I'll only and comes second.
Might be even be forgotten.

Why am i doing this to myself?
Why cant i let someone who loves me more than i loves him to dote and pamper on me?
Why must i say no to the person who actually will cherish me more than anyone else?
I guess i'm simply too stupid.
sigh
letting go perhaps things will get better.
i wanna go away now, right at this moment.
i may look uber strong infront of everyone.
But i choose to run away from everything now.
Even how hard i try, things will never go the way i want it to be. and it never be mine.
i hate crying eveyday for the same reason.

goodbye.