thinking hard

What what what happen!
I feel like so shit at times now.
I no longer knows what i really want and what i really need.
Hate those feelings which i feels that no one will understand.

Moving away is a better choice?
its tiring for me to let things be this way.
if this thing keep dragging, all of us will be tired.
slowly i'm feeling a little tired over it.
But i can't say anything, if not things will be different.

Who can i really turn to now?
Shut uppppppppppp!
hate everything now, everything to me isnt nice anymore.
not even myself.
I find myself very horrible now. ) :
A short trip this weekend to run away from the problems that i'm having right now,
im way tooo tired.
how i wish i can go now.
) :
so tired and restless.

At times, i really confuse about the things i really wants.
Like..
who i really fond of?
is he just a crush ?
Or will he be the one for me?
or even is it me alone?
fucks. ) :
im unhappy.
I've already once lost someone.
someone....
I wanted to cherish everyone i can..
Even if its just a crush or infatuation.
I dont want to miss out anything and regret.
But well..
life don't always go the way i want it to be.
Sigh sigh sigh.
Things just go so so wrong.

I wanted Stanley back.
but is impossible anymore.
I wanted to cherish JS(:
but the time is wrong.
I wanted to give HW a chance.
but im afraid things starts to change.
I wanted to be this and that.
I'm just afraid... afraid things will go wrong.
I dont want start to lose things and people around me.
esp you.
i know u'll be reading but things wont go our way.
( :
I'll learn.. learn not to be dependent on you.
BIG SIGH AGAIN.
off now.
bye